


I Wanna Play House with You

by punk_rock_yuppie



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Comfort, Daddy Kink, Established Relationship, Five is 16 (body wise), M/M, Mild Subspace, Multi, PWP, Polyamory, Sub!Five, Sub!Klaus, Voyeurism, dom!Diego, dom/sub dynamics, porn without plot/plot what plot, post-show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 08:49:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18070238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punk_rock_yuppie/pseuds/punk_rock_yuppie
Summary: Klaus and Diego think Five is a little high-strung.





	I Wanna Play House with You

**Author's Note:**

> this idea wouldn't leave me alone so I had to give it a go! klaus/diego is the established relationship to start, FYI. as per usual, don't @ me: five is canonically, mentally an adult. 
> 
> this is dedicated to my lovely hannah, who also beta'd this! it's a sort of unintentional gift. 
> 
> enjoy!

Objectively speaking, their house is _fucking huge_.

Ever since they got back from fixing the past to save the future—and god, isn’t that a _mouthful_ —and decided to renovate the mansion, it’s only grown. The rooms from their childhood expanded into ones better fit for adults (even Five’s, although he tried to tell his siblings it was quite unnecessary). Rooms added for guests, people like Diego’s friend Patch or Allison’s daughter Claire, both of whom exist in this universe in an equation that’s makes even Five’s head hurt a bit. It’s grown and been shaped into something for the family they became in the past, fit for the people they’re still growing into, even at thirty years old—or, at this rate, one hundred-something-years old, for Five. He stopped counting when he got back to the present the first time and was back in his thirteen-year-old body.

But anyway, after years of renovations, there’s no denying that their house is just absurdly large. On top of it, despite the closeness of their family, they’ve all developed rather solid boundaries: knock before entering, no fucking on the kitchen table _ever_ , if someone says “go away,” you _go away_. Et cetera, et cetera. So, between the big house and the personal boundaries firmly established, there’s just no reason for _this_ to happen.

_This_ being Five walking in on Diego and Klaus. More than once. Several times _a day_ , in fact.

Like right now.

 

 

“For _fuck’s_ sake!” Five shouts, slapping a hand over his eyes. “We have rules in this house, you fucking heathens.”

Klaus giggles from where Diego’s pressing him into the couch—something Five only sees by peeking through his fingers, something he’d never admit to. “Rules are made to be broken,” Klaus says breathily.

“No, they’re not,” Five replies. “Jesus,” he mutters, turning away.

“You’re welcome to join us!” Klaus hollers, although his offer is quickly swallowed up by a moan. Five doesn't want to know what Diego did to earn that noise. He really, _really_ doesn’t, which is why he starts sprinting towards the stairs.

He’s halfway up when he remembers his fucking powers and teleports with a groan. He crash-lands onto his bed and barely checks to make sure his bedroom door is closed before shoving his hand down his shorts. _This_ is why personal boundaries are important.

Because he’s hornier than he’s ever fucking been, and even just catching a glimpse of Diego biting Klaus’ neck was enough to get him half-hard. Klaus’ moans only sealed the deal, and that’s how Five finds himself jerking off almost angrily. He fucks into his fist and digs his teeth into his pillow as he comes, abrupt and far too quickly.

He’s still hard and he groans into his pillow. He doesn’t even bother taking his hand off his cock; he knows his body well enough by now to know he’s going to be here a while.

 

 

“I’m going to murder you both,” Five says, his fingers tightening around his overly large mug of coffee. Yes, he has to hold it with two hands; it’s worth it to not have to get up for refills as often.

At least Diego and Klaus have clothes on this time. Diego’s just pinned up against the hallway, with Klaus practically glued to his front. They’ve stopped their necking long enough to side-eye Five, which really isn’t fair. This is a _public_ hallway.

He says as much.

Klaus shrugs and Diego’s hands flex on his hips. “More fun this way,” Diego grunts.

Five can feel a blush rushing to his cheeks. If his dick gets hard now, it’ll be painfully obvious. Sweatpants do nothing to hide, well, _anything._ “Just, knock it off.” He takes a sip of coffee to hide his blush and turns quickly on his heel.

“Offer still stands!” Klaus hollers after him again. Five flips him the bird.

 

 

Five wonders if he could rent an apartment. Sure, his body is sixteen, but it’s easily apparent that he’s far smarter, far more mature than that. And maybe he doesn’t have a job but he does at least have a bank account, with a decent sum of cash pooled from robbing the Commission and from dear old dad’s will. He could pay rent, easily. The hardest part would be getting a landlord to take him seriously.

Five’s eye might be twitching. His head is a bit twisted up, right now. Diego and Klaus haven’t noticed him yet. He could walk away without a sound and leave them be. They’re not even doing anything _wrong_ —they’re in their bedroom this time. The door just happens to be open. An honest mistake.

He doesn’t walk away. Partly because he doesn’t want to—his siblings are, well, _attractive_. Especially together. Partly, though, because...walking with an erection is within Five’s top ten least favorite things. He’s under no illusion that if he stands still long enough it’ll go away, it’s purely an excuse.

“Oh,” Klaus moans softly. It’s not some pornographic, exaggerated thing. His hands are locked in Diego’s hair as the latter leaves a trail of marks over Klaus’ bare chest. “Fuck, Daddy, _please_ , I need you.”

The blood rushing in Five’s ears reaches a fever pitch. He lets out a stuttering, shaky gasp without meaning to, and his cock twitches in his jeans. It’s not a loud enough sound to draw attention to him, _yet._

Diego growls against Klaus’ stomach. “Daddy’s here, baby, you know I’m gonna give you what you need.”

Klaus whines and writhes on the bed. “Daddy!” He draws out the last sound, long, desperate. He’s rutting against Diego like a slut, whining like a bitch in heat until Diego growls and clamps a hand on Klaus’ thigh. Even from his place in the doorway, Five can see Diego’s fingertips digging bruisingly hard into Klaus’ milky skin.

“Baby,” Diego coos, but it doesn’t sound quite as soothing as Five expects. It’s a warning, one that Klaus clearly doesn’t heed.

“Daddy,” he pants back, squirming.

_Daddy, daddy, daddy._ The word is bouncing around Five’s head like a fucking ping pong ball off the rails.

A shaky moan trembles in Five’s mouth and spills out into the room.

Everything stops.

You could hear a fucking pin drop.

“Five?” Klaus speaks softly.

Diego’s staring at him, eyes heavy.

Five exhales through his nose. Already, time and space are warping around him as panic fills up his chest—he’s got to get away, _far_ away.

“No, no, no,” Klaus is urgently speaking and shoving at Diego. They both end up stumbling over to the door and get a hand on each of Five’s shoulders. And it’s not that he can’t teleport with people hanging off him, but it is harder, and Five’s not sure he’s really in the right mindset to even try.

Klaus is bending a bit to look at Five, even though he’s hardly as short as he was when he was thirteen. “Baby, hey, Five, it’s okay.”

_Baby_. Five shudders. There’s a twist at the corner of Klaus’ mouth.

Five blinks and tries to clear his thoughts. He looks at Diego, who looks surprisingly level-headed, but Five can’t help but focus on the bulge at the front of his stupid leather pants. “Uh.”

“We left him speechless.” Klaus shoots a grin at Diego. His hand trails from Five’s shoulder. “Five, can you look at me?”

It takes what feels like herculean effort, but Five manages it. Klaus’ own eyes are blown wide, rimmed in messy makeup.

“Do you want to join us?” Klaus asks. It may be the first time he’s actually asked and not just offered. Five doesn’t know why the difference stands out to him, but it does. “You can. We want you to.”

“Wh…” Five can’t even speak, and normally it would annoy him, but there’s too much happening. He’s too hard, too turned on, too dizzy and confused and desperate.

“You need to get out of your head once in a while,” Diego tells him, tapping at Five’s forehead. “Chill out.” Diego’s hand trails through Five’s hair and rests at the back of his neck. “Need someone to take care of you, huh? Don’t you, baby?”

Five whimpers. Diego smirks.

“Yeah, you do,” he says with a gentle nod. He squeezes the back of Five’s neck. “I can take care of you.”

Klaus whines.

“We can,” Diego amends. “But are you going to listen to Daddy?” Diego directs this at Klaus, who, to Five’s immense surprise, bows his head and nods without a snarky retort. “I can take care of you both, but only if you behave.”

“Behave?” Five finally manages to speak.

“Do as I say,” Diego explains. “Speak when spoken to. Come when I say you can come, and not a moment sooner.”

Five sways where he stands and his eyes feel like they’re attached to anchors. It’s too hard to keep them open. At least, until Diego murmurs, “Look at me.” Then, then it’s so easy.

Diego rewards him with another squeeze to his neck. “That’s my boy.”

Five nods dazedly.

“You gonna be a good boy for Daddy?”

“Yes.” It’s so much easier to answer than to think too hard about this. He lets Diego guide him into the bedroom and Klaus shuts and locks the door behind them. He’s in a daze as Diego directs him to the bed, stopping him only moments before he goes to sit down.

Diego hums, looking over Five. “I can’t decide if I want you to strip for me, or if I want to do the honors myself.”

Five has no preference, so he remains silent.

Diego’s expression shifts just slightly—approvingly. A flush runs through Five’s body.

“Klaus, strip for me.”

Five wants to watch as he listens to the frantic rustle of clothing that must be Klaus’ pants and underwear coming off. He doesn’t move, keeping his eyes focused on Diego.

“You’re better than I expected,” Diego admits softly. “So good for Daddy.”

Five whimpers again. Diego cups his chin gently.

“Strip for me,” he commands.

Five hurries to obey. It’s easy enough, although he gets a little tangled in his shirt in his eagerness. Diego helps him get the cotton tee off and tosses it aside. The jeans are next, then his boxers, and then Diego’s hands find Five’s hips.

“Good boy,” he says again. “Klaus, on the bed. Headboard.”

Five watches from the corner of his eye as Klaus obeys, slinking onto the bed and putting his back against the headboard.

“Klaus is going to suck you off, okay?”

“Okay,” Five breathes.

Diego’s hands tighten on his hips just enough to hurt.

“Okay, Daddy.” The word feels foreign on his tongue but not bad, not necessarily wrong.

“Do you want to know what I’m going to do to you?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

Diego tilts Five’s chin back and swoops in to kiss him. It starts off slow and almost chaste, but when Diego licks across the seam of Five’s lips, it’s easy to part for him, to take Diego’s tongue into his mouth. It’s not quite Five’s first kiss, but they’ve never been this heated before. His dick drools, and he’s so hard it _hurts_.

“I’m not gonna fuck you, yet,” Diego hisses as the kiss breaks. One of his hands slides around to the small of Five’s back then down to his ass, gliding over his crack. “Just between here, okay?”

Five nods. “Okay, Daddy.” Diego’s fingertips on him are like electric shocks, no matter where he touches.

“Get on the bed,” Diego demands, stepping back and leaving Five whimpering for the closeness.

Five, legs quaking, obeys. He climbs and rests on his knees, facing Klaus. Klaus smiles at him, a beautiful thing.

“Daddy,” Klaus says without looking away from Five. “Can I kiss him?”

“Yes, baby boy, you can.” Diego either hasn’t moved or he’s just freakishly silent, but Five knows better than to look.

He leans in to meet Klaus for the kiss. It’s messier than the kiss with Diego, which feels fitting. Klaus’ hands roam eagerly, greedily over Five’s body but steer clear of his dick. It’s blissful torture and Five moans as Klaus sucks on his tongue. His body feels like it’s consumed by fire, like he might burn to ash from the force of his pleasure. He can’t fucking _think_ straight.

Klaus moans as he pulls away. “Thank you, baby. Thank you, Daddy.”

The bed shifts as Diego finally climbs onto it. Five can tell he’s naked by the heat of his skin. There’s the click of something and then two cold fingertips are brushing over Five’s ass.

“This okay, baby?”

“Yes, Daddy,” Five says even as he trembles.

“Should I start, Daddy?” Klaus asks. Five watches Klaus’ bright green eyes drop to his groin, to Five’s erection.

“Not yet. Something tells me our baby won’t last long.”

Five’s face fights to pull into a sneer and he just barely manages it. Klaus giggles, in that sort of way that sounds like _“ooh, you’re in trouble.”_

“I’m not,” he starts, but stops. He’s not what? He’s horny as hell, he’s got the body of a fucking sixteen-year-old that comes like a rocket at the slightest things. He’s sandwiched between two men with talented mouths and fingers and he most certainly doesn’t stand a chance. _“Daddy,”_ he whines instead, not quite an imitation of Klaus—because it feels right to whine to the one who promised to take care of him.

Diego’s mouth is warm against his ear, his stubble scratching Five’s skin ever so slightly. “I’m here, baby. I know what you need.” He smears the lube between Five’s ass cheeks until he’s dripping wet. There are more slick sounds behind him and then something hot, long, hard is settling between Five’s cheeks.

It’s a bit of an awkward angle, even someone with little (read: no) experience like Five can tell. Doesn’t stop the tsunami of lust cascading through him. He nearly falls forward from the force of it, until Klaus holds him up with a single hand pressed to his chest.

Diego starts to thrust his cock between Five’s cheeks and it shouldn’t be so hot, Five thinks inanely. It’s skin on skin in the most basic sense; there’s no penetration, Five’s own dick isn’t even being touched yet. Despite it all, he’s already at the brink.

“Daddy,” he gasps as the leaking tip of Diego’s dick brushes over his hole. “I can’t.”

“You can,” Diego growls to him. “Klaus, go ahead and start, baby boy.”

Klaus falls forward with a moan and wastes no time getting his lips around Five’s cock. He starts at the tip and suckles eagerly. It’s a shock of new sensations; Five curls his toes and fights to stay still. He wants to buck into the perfect wet heat of Klaus’ mouth, wants to bend over and just let Diego _fuck_ him, he wants to come, _please—_

“Please, Daddy!” Five shouts. His hands land in Klaus’ hair and he doesn’t know if it’s allowed but he needs something to hold onto.

“Pull it,” Diego tells him. He’s panting as he speaks. “He likes that. Make him take your cock, baby. Give him what he needs, too.”

Five nods and yanks Klaus forward suddenly, forcing his brother to take his entire cock. Klaus takes it like a champ, moaning as he sinks down until his nose is buried against Five’s pubes. He swallows around the length and his throat tightens, and Five cries out.

“Daddy,” he gasps, “I can’t, can’t last.”

“I know, baby, it’s okay. You can come whenever you want, this time. It’s okay.” Diego’s still thrusting. It’s an unrelenting heat that makes Five crave _more_ , more that he doesn’t know how to ask for yet. More that he’s sure Diego wouldn’t give him yet, anyway.

Five moans and then he’s coming, thrusting deep into Klaus’ mouth as his orgasm overwhelms him suddenly. He throws his head back against Diego’s shoulder and shivers as lips and stubble glide over his neck. Diego bites at the juncture of his neck and shoulder and a last spurt of come empties into Klaus’ mouth.

Klaus moans as he pulls off. “Daddy,” he moans. “I need to come.”

“I know what you need, baby boy.” Diego’s struggling to speak and his thrusting is uneven. Five wants him to come, and as his head starts to clear, he finds it in him to say the words.

“I want you to come, Daddy.”

Diego chokes on a groan. “Yeah, baby?”

Five nods. “Yeah. Yes, Daddy.”

Insanely, Diego stops thrusting. Five and Klaus let out disappointed whines in unison. “Shh,” Diego tells them. “Klaus, baby boy, lie back.”

He waits for Klaus to obey. “Five, baby, on him.” A gentle shove to his back and Five falls forward onto Klaus’ body. The height difference makes it a little awkward, and Five shivers as his sensitive dick brushes against Klaus’. Heat surrounds him as Diego shuffles closer and keeps a hand on Five’s back.

“Like this, okay?” Diego says.

“Yes, Daddy.” Five arches his back as Diego slides forward to thrust between his cheeks again.

“Klaus, Daddy didn’t forget about you,” Diego assures. He reaches out a hand past Five and pets at Klaus’ curls. “Get yourself off, baby boy. Doesn’t Five feel good against you?”

Klaus whimpers and nods and then he’s writhing, rutting, rubbing his body against Five’s without finesse or care. Despite feeling oversensitive, despite his exhaustion, Five’s dick is hard again and Klaus’ wriggling is pushing him closer to a second orgasm.

“Next time,” Diego growls. “I want you to suck Klaus off, baby.”

Five moans.

“You look so good like this,” Diego continues. “Letting go for me and Klaus, doing so good for Daddy, huh? Just wanna feel good, baby?”

Five nods and hides his face against Klaus’ neck. He mouths at the sweat and scrapes his teeth over the already marked up skin. Klaus groans and comes, Five can feel the wet heat hitting his skin, smearing between their stomachs. Five shakes, he’s so close, doesn’t know what he wants or needs.

Diego’s hand squeezes between their bodies now and all it takes is his rough, calloused hand around Five’s straining prick, and he’s done for. Five comes again; it’s less explosive but still runs through him like a ripcord. He moans against Klaus’ neck and his whole body goes _tight_.

He’s coming down, the ringing in his ears subsiding, as he listens to Diego grunt and his thrusts still as he comes at the small of Five’s back. A few last aborted thrusts drags the release between his cheeks, over his hole, wetter and stickier than the lube.

Inelegantly, Diego collapses on top of Five’s back, pressing tender kisses across his shoulders. “So good for me, such good boys, yeah?”

Klaus hums something unintelligible, and Five’s so exhausted he’s not sure he could speak even if he knew what to say.

It’s okay, because Diego doesn’t seem to be expecting an answer. “Let’s get cleaned up.”

He moves first, then manhandles Five into a standing position and holds him close to keep him from swaying. He holds out a hand to Klaus and hauls him up too, and together they shuffle to the attached bathroom. Diego slips away long enough to start the bath—and when the fuck did they get such an enormous tub, Five thinks before his thoughts slip through his fingers. It’s hard to string words together, even in his head.

“You two get in,” Diego commands as he steps back.

Klaus takes Five’s hand and together they slip into the tub, Five’s back pressed to Klaus’ chest. It’s almost too warm with the steam rolling off the water, but it helps clear his thoughts.

Diego kneels beside the tub with two washcloths. “You two did so good for me.” He wets the cloth, procures body wash from somewhere, and starts to run it over what skin he can reach. “How you two feeling?”

“Good,” Klaus replies dreamily.

Five nods.

“Need to hear you say it, baby,” Diego prods gently.

“Good,” he manages after a tense, heavy moment. His voice feels broken-open, much like his chest. “Different.”

Diego grins at him. “Yeah, that’s not surprising.” He runs a wet hand through Five’s hair. “You did very good, Five.”

The praise burns like a faint flame, not all-consuming but gently warming. “Thank you, Diego.”

Diego nods. “Did you like it?”

Five considers the question, although he knows what his gut reaction is. He thinks about how it felt, how Klaus feels now, sleepily draped over his back, how Diego is so careful as he cleans them off. He thinks about doing this all again, being vulnerable and not being in complete control.

“I liked it,” he decides. “I’d like to do it again.”

“M’too,” Klaus slurs. Diego smiles fondly at him, at them both.

“I would, too.” Diego leans in to kiss Five gently, then smacks a sweet, noisy kiss to Klaus’ forehead. “Need to keep taking care of my good boys, don’t I?”

Five draws his knees to his chest, rests his arms on them and then pillows his head on his knees. “Thank you,” he murmurs after a bit of silence.

“Thank you,” Diego returns. “For letting me.”

Five hides his smile in his arms. “How did you know?”

Diego shrugs. “Klaus needs it sometimes, when the cravings get to be too much. You spent so long being our leader.” Diego smirks, adds, “Don’t tell Luther I said that. But it’s true.”

Five’s head hurts just thinking about it. Going back in time had been a nightmare, in a number of ways. Most of all having to explain the intricacies of keeping the timeline intact. Five was the only one with any knowledge, and he’d never been much of an instructor type.

“You worked so hard,” Diego continues. “You’re still trying to think like a leader, like the world’s about to end. It’s been over three years, Five. You needed a break. But you were never gonna give yourself one.”

Five doesn’t reply; he feels exposed.

“So, Klaus and I talked it over…” Diego lingers, staring fondly at Klaus, who’s started to snore. “It was Klaus’ idea to have you catch us.”

“Surprise, surprise,” Five retorts dryly.

Diego snorts. “I know. It worked, didn’t it?”

Five blushes. “Yeah.”

“That’s all that matters, then.”

Five doesn’t know about that. Sure, plenty of his siblings have been fucking since they saved the world—or before then, even—but Five never thought he’d end up in one of those equations. Certainly not calling his brother _daddy_. It feels strange and new, like a crisp suit that doesn’t fit right, quite yet, hasn’t adjusted to his body filling out the seams. His head feels clear, though, for the first time in ages. He doesn’t feel trapped or consumed by anything other than a pleasant rumbling.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Alright.” He reaches out a shaking hand, fingers already starting to get pruny, and Diego links their fingers.

 

 

“I really didn’t think you’d go for it,” Diego says once they’re dressed in sweats and t-shirts. He’s changing the bedsheets, Klaus and Five are leaning drowsily against each other.

“If you had asked me outright, I probably wouldn’t’ve.” Five nuzzles closer to Klaus. “I’m still not sure… how to feel.”

“That’s okay.” Diego taps each of their shoulders gently. “C’mon, bed.”

Together they all stumble over to the enormous bed, and Five somehow ends up sandwiched in the middle again. He’s almost got a mouthful of Klaus’ curls and Diego is almost too warm against his back. Klaus is back to snoring, and it’s a grating, maddening sound. Diego’s breathing sort of rattles as it evens out. Five’s never shared a bed with someone like this before.

He decides, as sleep starts to overtake him, that it’s perfect.


End file.
